Away from the 9 to 5

Yes, definitely, time is flying by.  My son is now 5 months and a half (my previous post should have been published around a month and a half ago but I didn’t find time… go find out…)  He can do so many things now. He rolls from back to belly and vice-versa. He is such a happy little baby who just waits for any opportunity to crack out a smile or a laugh.  What a blessing he is to us.  We went through the colic phases that were quite difficult, then we were able to have our son on a schedule so that he was asleep by 7pm.  But that didn’t last long.  He started teething and all our scheduling was off…  He now has two bottom teeth and is quite proud of them.  He used to keep on touching them first thing when he was waking up.  Just too funny.

I am still looking for daycare. I started looking when I was pregnant.  It is a real sport. In Quebec, daycare is cheap, but this, as well as parental leave, seem to have caused a baby boom.  Now try to find a spot in a subsidized daycare…  I have talked to a few daycare directors and they are so independent.  I feel like I am going for an interview. It is quite stressful.  I have met a couple of directors who just couldn’t tell me how far down the list I was to hope to get a spot.  I know that I’ll probably have a spot with a family but I would prefer going to a CPE (as they are called and which stands for ‘Centre de la Petite Enfance’). These centers are well organized and well supervised, but they are in demand.

I feel nervous about going back to work.  I should go back in December but I can extend until next spring.  I think I will extend my maternity leave but I am not sure for how long yet.  I just feel like my son is too small and too fragile to be left in a daycare all day.  I feel like I don’t want to go back to a 9 to 5 type of job either.  However, I am not sure of what else I could do.  I quite enjoy being able to do my shopping during the weekdays when it is quieter in the stores and on the street.  Mostly, I enjoy all this time spent with my son.

I have a passion for yoga, as well as anything related to well being overall.  I am starting a meditation class soon with my husband.  My husband suffers from anxiety.  I realize by talking with people around me that many suffer from this.  Also, insomnia seems like a new plea.  Really, it is this world of over stimulation that makes us become anxious zombies…  Also, I keep on hearing about young people suffering from some form of cancer.  My sister did have breast cancer while in her thirties.  Now my friend’s sister in her early thirties is also having breast cancer.  And this cancer, or some other form of cancer has affected some of my coworkers, or their relatives.

I have been very close to my sister and have been a moral support to her while she was going through this.  We were reading about anything that we believed could help her.  This was before I was pregnant, the year before.  I really did learn from this, and it made me think that I would like to work in helping people go through this.  My husband told me he believes I am talented at listening to people and helping them going through any personal issue they may have.  I realize that when people talk to me about their personal problems, it really stays in my head. I think about it and I try to find solutions for them.  For my sister, we worked on her diet.  We were reading studies that showed how a proper diet can help the chemotherapy treatment act better, and how a good diet can fight cancer.  I loved the book from Richard Béliveau about this.  I read the French versions, but they have been translated in English.  Also, David Servan-Schreiber, himself having gone through brain cancer, wrote a good book about how he copes with it.  Scientific studies are backing him up as he explains in his book.  My sister has her down, but I personally am so convinced that by doing the right things, cancer can be fought and not come back.  To me, doing the right things translate into practicing some sport a few times a week, eating well, practicing yoga and meditation to ensure to keep the stress level down and under control and to ensure good sleep.   I always thought that I would only be a good sales person if I was selling something I am convince of, and of this, I am convince for sure.  With my sister, I went to meditation classes.  I also suffer from anxiety and insomnia from time to time, and while I went to these classes, I slept so well.  I was able to not take things personal and get stressed about things or stuff people would say to me.  I was able to take some distances from this and it was great.  A friend of mine was telling me about her aunt who as been living for over ten years with a generalized cancer.  The progression has stopped since her aunt started to meditate.  It has been puzzling doctors, but she is well and no sign of an end to come soon.

I guess I am going away from my main subject on this blog, which is my pregnancy, and my son.  But I am not.  I realized after my sister went through cancer that I didn’t want to wait any further before being pregnant.  My sister has one son, and she is in her late thirties. She has to wait five years for her remission before trying to have another baby, which will bring her in her forties.  So basically a second baby is almost out of the question for her now.  Also, she is always thinking about what if she had a second baby and the cancer came back, she would leave two orphans rather than one.  All these questions that I don’t want to ask myself.  I just want my kids and assume that I will always be healthy.  But I know I cannot take this –health- for granted now.  That’s why I thank god everyday for having blessed me with such a loving baby.  I am blessed to know how it feels to be a mother.  I feel ecstatic about being a mom. I feel I have accomplish what I consider the most important thing in life, which is creating birth and giving birth.  Giving is such an appropriate word here.  I thought, if I have to die of any event – illness or something else- I will have lived the most fulfilling experience there is to live in this world and I feel blessed and thankful.  I think that my sister’s illness has given me the capacity to look at life this way.  She says that she really looks at life, realizing that there is an end to it, while most of us do not realize this.  The end is for others, not for us, as most believe.  I feel like I see life a bit like my sister too, but I know that my vision is not like hers as I am not personally affected by the illness.  Apparently, it is the only good thing coming out of having such an illness that can possibly be deadly, which is the fact of seeing life in a different way and really appreciating it.  I do try to appreciate the simple pleasures of life now.  I don’t want to be envious of superficial things.  I don’t want to be surrounded by superficial people either. I want to live the real life, the one that matters. And share things that matter too.

Life with a 4 months old

I am a mom now, and have been for 4 months.  What a beautiful adventure.  My son is sleeping in my arms right now, his mouth clutched to my breast.  It seems that as the days go by, I just want to hold him more and more all the time.  I really can’t get enough of him.  It is not too practical as there are many chores to do around the house.  Let’s say that those get done, but at a really slow pace.  My husband is such a present father, so involved in his role even thought I am full time at home and he is full time working, which allows us all more cuddling time together.  I got a bit of ironing done this morning as my little guy was having fun in his jolly jumper, but he got tired of it.

I used to have a sling to carry my baby around, but he has outgrown it.  I am shopping for a bigger one now and I think I found the one.

My son has been sleeping in his crib for a week now.  He first slept in my bed, then in a basket by my bed, which he enjoyed very much.  That basket was so useful as we could attach it to the stroller.  My son felt at home anywhere we went.  But he has now outgrown it too.

I feel so blessed to have such a little bundle of love being part of my husband and my life now.  We definitely share something bigger than ourselves now.  I can see how my husband and I share the same passion for this little guy and it makes us grow as better people all the time.  It definitely brings out the best in us.  It hasn’t been easy all the time and we still have our moments where our baby isn’t doing well and we need to make that extra effort as we both feel tired, but we forget about it so quickly.  Our son had colic during his second and third month.  We have held him, danced with him, sung to him and tried anything to aid him go through that discomfort.  Seeing him not feeling well made us want to help him go through this difficult phase of his development.  Patience and understanding were definitely key, and even more so was the support that my husband and I gave to each other.  We started to take turn to go back to train at the gym at night.  This little time away was good physically and psychologically.  We have kept on doing it.  I have subscribed to some postnatal yoga class with my baby, and to some outdoor cardio-stroller class in a park by my house.  All these activities make me feel great.  My son loves yoga.  When he is grumpy, I use the stretching yoga techniques on him and it relaxes him each time.  I definitely am an addict of yoga.

38 weeks

Yes, already I`m there. I just can`t believe how fast time went by. But that`s not how I used to feel a few weeks or months ago… All I can say is that my pregnancy has been going really well and I have nothing to complain about. Well, except for one thing; my baby won`t bring his head down. He is in a full breech position which means C-section. This has been a hard pill to swallow last week when my obstetrician informed me of the news. The doctor has scheduled me for a version of the baby which didn`t work. So, unless little baby decides to bring his down, I will have to have a surgery.
This has been difficult to accept because for the past eight months, I have been thinking of how the delivery would occur. I have been visionning it over and over. I have been thinking about my waters breaking, rushing to get everything together and head to the hospital. But it seems like it won`t happen. My husband and I will just pack the car like if we were leaving on a trip, check in at the hospital, like you check in at the hotel, and a few hours later, we will be parents. The more I think about having the baby that way, the more I get use to it … I guess.
What upsets me is the surgery itself. I have never had a surgery before. And also the probabilities of having future babies through C-section. I am thinking that I might have to put a cross on having a natural birth. I feel like as a women, this is something that I should experience, the suffering to bring to the world such a desired little being, then within a matter of seconds, forgetting all about the suffering at the sight of the cherished little one.
So in the new scenario, my husband will be in charge of the baby while I recover from the surgery. He will get to smell this little one first, and to hug him skin against skin, as it is highly recommended to do with newborn. Well, he will definitely bond with little baby.
I really want to breastfeed the baby so I just hope that the surgery won`t have too much of an impact on my desire. That would definitely really upset me. I guess that I`ll get so much time to bond with the baby through breastfeeding. I just envision myself looking at the baby and him looking back at me while he breastfeed.
I am wondering if I idealize all this too much, but I can`t help it.
So I should find out next week wether I`ll have a C-section or not. Until then, I am trying acupuncture to help the baby turn.

27th week

 I’m starting my 27^th week of pregnancy tomorrow.  Yesterday, my sister in law had her baby girl, Chloe.  She has sent photos today.  Chloe is all puffy and doesn’t look too happy to be out of her mom’s womb. 

 

My husband and I have been doing some cleaning of our stuff and my husband has done a lot of work in the basement; emptying it, painting, building some shelves, electricity, etc.

We have been getting rid of a lot of stuff we are not using too much, or I’d rather say, not using at all.  I had all this kitchen stuff for the day I would make a Martha Stewart of myself.  I don’t know if it’s pregnancy, but I have realized that this day will never come.  I just cannot accumulate all this stuff that I don’t use.  Apparently, this propency to get rid of a lot of stuff during pregnancy is called Nesting.  I guess I must be living it very intensly, so is my husband.  All sorts of dishes I had, some I thought I would use one day when I would have people over for dinner and have a team meal : eg medieval, or silver, or whatever.  The truth and fact is, it is already enough work to cook for 10 people (that’s how many of my family we are) without having to start pulling out all sorts of dishes and stuff for one night.  Moreover, when the stuff is so well stored in a box at the bottom of a pile of boxes, the desire isn’t there to go through the boxes to get to the stuff.  So that’s it, I won’t have to deal with this anymore.

 

My pregnancy has been going well.  Junior has not been moving too much in the past few days, but the previous couple of weeks he was quite active.  We haven’t prepared his room yet.  We figure it won’t take too long.  We know what we want.  We’ll just go and get it once the room is painted.  It still is a stressful event from time to time.  I stress about not working for a year and living on a reduced income.  I stress for my husband’s job which hasn’t looked too safe lately.  I stress about not being a good parent, not caring enough for the child.  And I stress about not being prudent enough with the baby.  I guess I’m going into to unknown as so many parents have done before me, and they seem to have all pulled it through.  Sometimes, I imagine that one of me or my husband lose their job and I feel like we won’t be able to live on a single income.  Then, I think of my parents who were able to live on a single income and ended up doing well.  I guess it all comes down to the stuff again.  We seem to spend so much on stuff our parents live without needing.  Again, if we’re faced to live these problems, I’m sure we will figure out a way to reduce our consumption and adjust our lifestyle.  It’s too bad thought that we have to be put in front of such a situation to adjust our lifestyle.  It’s like the environment I guess, we just use the resources until there’s no more, then we find new ways of living more efficiently…

The 20-week ultrasound

My husband and I went for the 20-week ultrasound last week.  It was great to see the baby.  And we found out the sex, finally…. And it’s a b….oy!!!  We’re so happy and excited, but I can’t say that it is due to the sex of the baby as much as the fact that it personifies him more now.  And it concretises the whole thing a bit more in my head.  I feel like I can see further ahead.  I’m not sure if it’s right or not but I can’t help it.  I’m picturing a future of going to different sports activities with him.  I don’t have any particular sports in mind, or I should say I have all the sports in mind.  Really, I wouldn’t want to push him in something he doesn’t like, but I think I will push him into doing sports, any, just for the health benefit of it.  If he’s more an intellectual, I guess just the fact of going for walks and hikes would be good.  But all this, I could be as well picturing for a girl.  But still it’s different.  We got to see the shape of his face a bit in 3D.  I found that his nose had the same shape as my mother in law, and his mouth looks more like my husband.  For the rest, it was too difficult to say.  My mom saw the DVD of the ultrasound and thought that the baby looked so much like my husband.  It was funny to see her.   My parents are so excited, so are my parents in law. 

I joined a new prenatal yoga class closer to home.  It was nice; we were 13 pregnant women doing yoga.  When I do the shoulder stand and go back down, I feel the baby moving around in my belly.  I think he’s getting a bit disoriented.  I know that I am not supposed to do that pose after 30 weeks in pregnancy, so of course I won’t do it, but I enjoy it for now. 

I have been following the Olympic Games on TV.  I just love the swimming competitions.  I am picturing my son swimming… hopefully he’ll like water sports.  In my family, all of my sisters and I enjoy water sports, but not as much in my husband’s.  There more into track and field and cross-country skiing.  All nice sports anyways.  My husband and I are very tall, so everybody tell us that we’re going to have such tall kids.  I wonder if it’s possible that our kids are smaller than us.  I have seen that before.  That will be left to see.    

 

We have finally done quite some good progress with the work in the basement.  I should thank my husband mostly.  I am more of a moral support and organizer than a good pair of arms when comes the time to work lately.  We have started shopping for baby stuff.  There’s just so much choice, and so much stuff that exist.  At first I thought I needed all that, but when I made a spreadsheet of things I needed and estimated costs, it definitely did cool me off.  We will go for the important-essential stuff first, and we will see what we receive as gifts. 

I have made a few acquisitions; a playpen, a few baby undergarments (blue of course) and a blue teddy bear, right after I learned about the sex.  Being too excited, I had to go and buy something blue.  Now I’m alright and can take the time to quiet down and let my head and budget control what I get rather than with my feelings and impulses.  But I think I will have to work hard not to let my impulse take over as some of the baby stuff is just too cute.  I will keep my budget always in sight, and my husband not too far, to help control all this.  Frankly however, my husband is having trust in my choices and doesn’t interfere too much.

 

And the discussion about the name has started… It will probably keep us busy until the baby is born.

Search for daycare has started

My husband and I are trying to continue our house cleanup that we started in the spring.  It really isn’t going as fast as I would have liked to…   First, there are our summer vacations which ate 2 weeks and 3 weekends of the summer.  Then there’s all the family and friends get together on frequent weekends.  But all this is really necessary for our mental and social well being.  And there’s the fact that I don’t have that much energy either, so I don’t get as much done as I would normally.  I have heard the stories of women who become super women when they are pregnant, starting all sorts of renovation projects and being full of energy.  It’s not my case I guess.  My doctor had to prescribe some Iron supplements to me as I suffer from anaemia.  That surely has something to do with the fact that I often feel tired, and loose my temper from time to time…   Luckily, my husband takes it to a second degree being aware of my condition.  But I’m not proud of myself when I get upset for no important reasons.  I am now in my eighteen week of pregnancy, so maybe I will finally get to feel better in a few weeks. 

 

I have visited 2 day cares so far.  One of them is subsidized by the government, so it comes down to 7$/ day to send my kid there. The other one is private and it costs 30$/day and I get a taxes reimbursement, so the cost of day care comes down to 22$/day in my case.  I find that the difference is huge.  I know that by living in Quebec, I am quite lucky to be able to get day care for so cheap.  But I also pay a lot of income taxes.  So my husband and I will have to measure pros and cons of both daycares.  The private day care had a really nice program, whereas there was no mention of that in the public day care.   Also, the private day care looked much tidier, cleaner and better organized than the public daycare I visited.  There are other public daycares in the neighbourhood but I didn’t have a chance to go and visit them.  I am thinking that before we set our choice on a place, we will have to go and visit a couple more places.  I am planning on taking a year off, which is the standard in Canada.  I will receive a governmental benefit which will be topped up by my employer for the first few months, than it will reduce.  It is a percentage of the salary up to a maximum salary which I believe to be $60,500 this year.  I am also planning on taking an additional 3 months off, for which I won’t receive any salary.  But if we decide to send our kid to a private daycare, I might just go back to work after my year off.  My husband also gets 5 weeks of paternity leave that he can take any time during the first year.  I think he will take these weeks mostly at the birth of the baby.  I am quite pleased with this.  It is specific to the province of Quebec and many fathers have benefited from this governmental program so far.  There is apparently a mini baby boom in Quebec, which it thought to have something to do with all these programs put in place by the government.

 

The subtle movements

I am now 18 weeks pregnant.  I can feel subtle movements in my belly.  It feels like a gentle butterfly flapping its wings.  It is very exciting to think that these butterfly feelings are due to a little human being in my belly. 

 

This past weekend, my husband and I went to spend the weekend in Toronto to visit our relatives and friends.  I played golf on Saturday.  It was quite a hot day but luckily there was a nice breeze on the golf course.  I also covered myself well with suntan lotion and drank lots of water.  My sister in law admitted to me that she was worrying for me, on the golf course on such a humid day.  A friend of mine also told me that her husband forbade her to play golf during pregnancy.  To my husband and I, it is not something we have thought about.   I just know my limits wherever I go or whatever I do.  I feel like I need to move, and walking around a golf course can only do me good. I had a little cart to carry my golf clubs.  Usually, I carry my bag around, but that I know I cannot do anymore.  Anyways, I had a really enjoyable time, even thought it wasn’t one of my best games…

It was nice to exchange with my sisters in law and girlfriends about their pregnancy experiences and feelings.  As I told them, often I surprise myself thinking about the baby and I picture myself holding him in my arms.  I also picture him in a little pyjama, lying on his back and kicking his feet in the air.  I just can’t wait to be face to face with him.

 

When we drove back to Montreal, I was listening to the radio and I just felt like listening to, what I would have called a few years back, some cheezee music.  I just felt like I was listening to the music differently than ever before.  When I listen to a love song, I am listening to it differently.  It’s like if I was experiencing a new kind of love I had never experienced before, the love of a child, and he isn’t even born yet.  I can’t imagine the strong feelings I will experience once he will be born.  All the parents always talk about that love for their children that is different to any other love, and I always knew it was something I wanted to experience.

I will soon have my 20 weeks ultra-sound.  Many people say that the baby’s facial traits at this ultra sound will be the traits at his birth.  I am thus very curious to find out how he looks.  To be followed…

Different thoughts about nothing

I am writing but feel like I have nothing to say.  Everything seems to be going perfectly and smoothly about my pregnancy.  I guess I have to take Iron supplements as my iron level is too low, but no big deal.  That might explain why I felt tired at times, even if I am over my three months. 

I am having my full echography at the beginning of August and am quite exited about that.  We will find out about the sex of the baby then.  We will be getting a DVD of the echography and will be able to see the baby in 3D!  I just can’t wait to go. 

Last week I dreamt that I was in labour to give birth.  I woke up totally scared and started to wonder what did I get into…   I have never stay overnight in a hospital, or had any operation of any kind.  I just don’t want to think about it too much, but I know that in the end, everything will work out, and all the moms go through labour to give birth, including my mom. 

A friend of mine was sharing her breastfeeding experience with me.  I definitely want to breastfeed.  There are so many benefits to it for the baby and the mom.  But I know not all moms are able to do it.  All I’ll do for now is preparing myself by reading about it and finding out about people who will be able to help me when the time comes.

My husband and had rented a cottage for our vacations as I mentioned in my previous posting.  During these vacations, I managed to get my finger caught in a mixer (I was trying to mix some cream to have whipped cream to put on my fresh berries…).   My middle finger looked pretty bad.  My husband took such good care of me, cleaned my injured finger, disinfected it and took me to clinic nearby.  My finger is finally slowly getting back to normal, but I got so scared at the time.  My belly was in pain, and I think this might have been contractions that I had.  I was worried more about my baby than anything, because of the contractions, and because of what the doctor might give me as medication if the injure is bad enough.  In the end everything went back to normal and I didn’t need any medications. 

This made me realize a few things.  Of one, I feel like I am loosing a bit of my focus to be getting my finger caught in a mixer like I did.  Also, I really am not alone in this body anymore.  Anything that happens to me happens to someone else as well.  It’s a big responsibility to have, and I guess it’s just starting, as it will go on after the birth.  And lastly, the middle finger really has is utility and not being able to use for a few days makes life more difficult.  I thus really appreciate more all my body members.

On another note, I started my prenatal yoga classes last week.  It was enjoyable.  It is funny and weird to do the shoulder stands, thinking that the little baby is moving around in the belly.  I can’t imagine how it is going to be doing the different poses when I’ll be 30 weeks pregnant.  But I enjoy it so much, and I think it is such a gift to give to my baby, to bring myself to a peaceful state, as my baby will benefit from it I am sure.  I also plan to continue the yoga class with my baby when he will be born.

The belly is starting to show

As a matter of fact, I believe that my belly has started to show from when I saw the + sign on the pregnancy test.  But my husband says otherwise.  He is just now admitting that I have a pregnant woman’s belly.  According to his theory, before this week, which is my 15^th, I only had a bigger belly because I was eating more, because I knew I was pregnant.  But he just likes to tease me.  

I got my results from the Nuchal Translucency test and the baby is doing well.  The results were good, so no need to worry about the down syndrome nor the trisomy 18.  It was really cool to see the baby on the screen for the first time.  He was not moving too much but was kicking and boxing.  At some point he even sucked his thumb.  I just couldn’t stop laughing when I first saw the image on the screen.  It really is a miracle to see this little bundle, 13 weeks old at the time, already  fully formed, with a fast heart beat. 

I am now back to work after 2 weeks of wonderful vacations in the country.  We went camping with my brother-and-sister-in-law.  My sister-in-law is pregnant as well, but is 6 months pregnant of a second child.  She had quite a belly.  It was funny to be the two pregnant women sleeping in tents.  I slept really well, but I can’t say as much for her… 

My husband and I then went to a cottage that we rented for the week.  We just ate, read, paddled around the lake and sat by the fire.  We just felt like spending those 2 weeks away from the city, ideally surrounded by trees, in the nature.  So this is what we ended up doing.  While I was relaxing and reading by the lake, I understood what was really drawing me to go to such places.  I realized that I needed a break from all the solicitations from the city.  It seems like I can never fully relax in the city.  There’s always a few of my senses that are solicited, in a rather aggressive way, compared to when I sit by a lake, or walk in the forest.  That is why I didn’t want to end up in another big city somewhere else in North America or Europe.  As a bonus, our vacations ended up being cheap. 

I am now reading the Autobiography of Gandhi.  I am reading it with great interest. I am back to meditating a bit, and am starting some prenatal yoga class this week.  I just can’t wait to go.  I guess all this is helping me to keep this forest feeling inside me.  I am just learning so much from Gandhi and his great lifestyle, one of simplicity.  His reflections and the path he went through are of utmost interest to read and be inspired by him. Definitely, the fact of being pregnant makes me want to be a better person, as my husband and I will be the first model to our child. 

 

Sex and pregnancy

I guess I won’t go around to it and might as well set things straight.  Sex and pregnancy are not two mutually exclusive states.  At the beginning of my pregnancy, my sex drive was really low, mostly from tiredness and nausea, but also from being scared of having a miscarriage if I had an intercourse.  My husband silently seemed to agree with me and didn’t approach me too much.  He respected my nausea, tired state, and made jokes about being worried to have twins if we had sex while I was pregnant…

 

But at some point, I surprised myself a few times awakening in the middle of an erotic dream.  That’s when I realized my sex drive was back.  I mostly forgot what were my dreams about when waking up, except for one morning.  It really was a strange dream that I had to share with my husband.  In the dream, I was walking in a huge warehouse with very high ceilings and at the back, there were benches filled with mannequins all piled up on top of each other.  Then I realized that 3 of them were moving.  There was a guy on top of a girl and another girl behind them, all 3 having sex together.  But it’s not all, they were live mannequins!  I had seen the movie `Lars and the real girl` not long before that so maybe it affected my psyche.  So anyhow, in my dream, I pushed the girl underneath the male mannequin and I took her spot… and I woke up not long after, so nothing happened really.  When I told my husband about my dream, he somehow guessed that I woke up before the action actually took place. I wonder why…  Anyways, that’s the official event that did put an end to our abstinence. 

 

 

 

I must admit that I am one of those pregnant women whose sex drive is back up to normal (and more) since my nausea and tiredness are gone…  I read in the book I mentioned in my previous post that it is different for every woman.  Some women have a higher sex drive while being pregnant, some women have no sex drive at all, and some women keep their normal sex drive.  One of my coworkers told me that her husband didn’t want to have intercourse with her for the entire 9 months of her pregnancy.  He just couldn’t from the fact that she was carrying a baby.  That must be difficult, moreover when you are in the `higher sex drive` category.  Another of my friends told me that since she started to have contractions really early in her pregnancy, her obstetrician forbade her to have intercourses until delivering the baby. She even mentioned that she tried to satisfy her own self but the effects were the same, it gave her contractions.   So it was a dry regime for her as well.  Apparently, things change as the body changes so I might feel different in another few months, and my husband as well.  Let’s just take advantage of the present moment then!